The day my journey as a father took a different turn
My son, Testimony, was born on 16 January 20007 at the Federal Medical Centre within the Railway Compound, Ebute Metta, Lagos, Nigeria.
His birth was a wonderful moment for me. He was delivered through a Caesarean section, and I had the privilege of carrying him shortly after he was brought out of the womb. Like every proud father, I was filled with joy and gratitude to God for the gift of a new child.
At that moment, I did not notice the swelling on his back that would soon change the course of our lives. It was later, when I was called to the office of the Medical Director, that the doctors explained that my son had been born with Spina Bifida , a congenital condition affecting the development of the spine.
They informed me that the opening on his back required urgent surgical attention.
The news was overwhelming. I had never heard of spina bifida before, and I did not fully understand what it meant for my son’s future. To make matters more difficult, that same day, I had to go to my older son’s primary school to obtain permission to take him home before rushing to Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), Idi-Araba, for further medical attention.
I can hardly describe that journey. I drove through Lagos with a heart full of fear, uncertainty, and prayers, not knowing exactly what lay ahead. Yet, by God’s grace, we arrived safely.
A Father’s Search for Answers
At LUTH, we were admitted through the emergency unit, but my son did not receive immediate surgical treatment. I was desperate for information because I knew so little about his condition. I eventually went to a cyber cafe to search the internet for the meaning of spina bifida and what it could mean for his life.
Imagine being a father whose newborn child is facing a medical challenge you know nothing about, while you are desperately searching for answers and hoping that everything will be all right.
The surgery did not take place immediately . It was performed after more than a week, when he was almost two weeks old. Thankfully, the operation was successful.
Looking back today, I am grateful to God for bringing us through that difficult period. My son also did not develop Hydrocephalus, another condition that can sometimes accompany Spina Bifida. This was a great relief to our family. Our journey, however, was only beginning.
The everyday realities of raising a child with Spina Bifida
Raising Testimony has taught me that love is not merely a feeling; it is a daily commitment expressed through sacrifice, patience, and action.
From infancy, we had to manage needs that many parents might never have imagined. Buying diapers became a regular responsibility, and he required catheterisation to help him empty his bladder. These needs did not disappear as he grew older. They became part of our everyday lives and the practical realities of caring for him.
He also underwent physiotherapy from an early age to support his physical development. Although he can walk, his walking pattern is affected by his condition. Nevertheless, I have learned not to measure my son’s potential by the way he walks or by the physical challenges he faces.
To me, he is much more than his diagnosis. He is my son, my responsibility, my joy, and my Starboy.
One of the greatest lessons this journey has taught me is that raising a child with a disability requires more than sympathy. It requires understanding, consistent support, access to healthcare, and a willingness to adapt our lives to meet the child’s needs.
There are expenses, concerns, and responsibilities that continue for years. Yet, through it all, we have continued to trust God and do our best to give our son the opportunity to grow, learn, and live with dignity.
Protecting my son’s dignity at school
One of my greatest concerns as Testimony grew older was how other children would treat him. During his primary school years, he experienced bullying and unfair assumptions from some classmates. For instance, whenever a child soiled the classroom, other pupils would sometimes look towards him as though he must have been responsible.
It was painful to know that my son could be judged unfairly because of his medical condition. His bladder and bowel management needs were not something he had chosen, and he deserved the same respect and understanding as every other child.
As a father, I did everything I reasonably could to protect him from humiliation and to preserve his dignity. When he was preparing to enter secondary school, I took a practical step to make his school experience more comfortable. I arranged for a toilet with the facilities and water he needed so that he would not have to depend entirely on the same toilet arrangements as other students. This decision was important to me because I wanted him to attend school with greater confidence, privacy, and dignity.
It also reinforced a lesson that I believe every parent, school administrator, and educator should understand: inclusion is not just about allowing a child with a disability to attend school; it is about creating an environment in which that child can learn, participate, and feel respected.
Sometimes, what a child needs is not special treatment but reasonable accommodation, understanding, and the removal of barriers that make ordinary activities unnecessarily difficult.
My Starboy, Testimony
My relationship with Testimony is particularly special. We are very close, and I often call him my Starboy. I call him that because I see something special in him, and because I believe his life carries a testimony of God’s goodness.
His name, Testimony, reflects my faith and the hope I have always carried for his future. I believe that his life will continue to reveal the goodness of God in ways that will encourage our family and inspire other people.
What makes me especially grateful is that, despite the challenges he has faced, he has not become someone who constantly complains about life. He continues to grow, and I remain thankful for the joy he brings into our home.
Of course, we have faced difficulties, and there are practical needs that require our attention. I do not pretend that everything has always been easy. However, I have learned to appreciate the progress we make, the challenges we overcome, and the gift of having him in our lives.
My son has helped me understand that a child’s worth is never determined by a medical diagnosis, a physical limitation, or another person’s opinion.
Every child has value. Every child deserves love. Every child deserves the opportunity to discover and fulfil their potential.
A message to parents raising children with disabilities
To every parent who has a child living with a disability, I want to say this from the depth of my heart: please, do not give up on your child.
God has entrusted that child to your care, and your role is to provide love, support, encouragement, and the opportunities needed for the child to develop and pursue a meaningful life.
There may be moments when you feel overwhelmed. Medical appointments, treatment costs, assistive needs, educational concerns, and the attitudes of other people can make the journey difficult. There may also be times when you worry about your child’s future.
I understand that these concerns are real. But please, do not allow fear or the opinions of others to define your child’s future.
Learn about your child’s condition. Seek appropriate medical care and professional support. Work closely with teachers and caregivers. Make reasonable adjustments where necessary, and above all, allow your child to experience love, belonging, and the freedom to develop their abilities.
Do not hide your child out of shame. Do not assume that a disability means the end of opportunity. Do not compare your child’s journey with that of another child.
Every child develops differently, and progress may come in different forms.
Most importantly, recognise your child as a whole person, with interests, feelings, abilities, dreams, and the right to be treated with dignity.
Our children need us to believe in them, stand up for them, and help them build the confidence to face the world.
A Message to Society
I also appeal to society to change the way we perceive and treat people living with disabilities.
Children with disabilities should not be defined by what they cannot do. They should be recognised for their abilities, supported in their areas of need, and given equal opportunities to participate in society.
Families should not have to fight unnecessary battles for their children to receive appropriate healthcare, accessible education, and basic dignity.
Schools should be more understanding. Communities should be more supportive. Public facilities should be more accessible, and children should be taught from an early age to treat their peers with kindness and respect.
Bullying, discrimination, and exclusion can leave emotional wounds that are sometimes more difficult to overcome than the physical challenges a child faces.
Let us build a society where children like my son can learn, make friends, participate in sports and community life, pursue their ambitions, and grow into confident adults.
A disability should never be a reason to deny a person respect, opportunity, or the chance to contribute meaningfully to society.
My hope for the future
As I look at my son today, I see a journey that began with uncertainty but has continued through love, perseverance, medical care, family support, and faith in God.
I know that there may still be challenges ahead. However, I remain hopeful about what the future holds for him.
My prayer is that Testimony will continue to grow in confidence, discover his abilities, pursue his dreams, and become a source of encouragement to others. I want him to know that he is loved, that his life has value, and that he should never allow anyone to make him feel inferior because of his condition.
I also hope that our experience will encourage other parents to persevere and remind society that children with disabilities deserve to live fulfilling lives.
He is more than his disability
If there is one thing my journey with Testimony has taught me, it is that a child is far greater than the challenges surrounding their birth.
When I carried my son for the first time, I did not know what the future held. I could not have imagined all the lessons, sacrifices, responsibilities, and moments of gratitude that would become part of our lives.
Today, I look at him with gratitude to God and a father’s enduring hope.
He is not simply a child born with Spina Bifida. He is a son, a student, an individual with his own personality and potential, and a young person whose future should be filled with possibilities. He is my Starboy. He is my Testimony.
And as long as God gives me strength, I will continue to stand by him, support him, encourage him, and do my best to ensure that he has the opportunity to become all that he is capable of being.
To every parent raising a child with a disability: do not give up. Love your child, support their development, protect their dignity, and give them room to shine. Our children deserve more than our sympathy; they deserve our commitment, our advocacy, and our belief in their potential.
May God give every parent the strength to continue this journey, and may our children grow to fulfil their potential and live lives filled with dignity, purpose, and joy.