Modupe Ajayi Hydrocephalus

Hydrocephalus: The first step on the journey of transformation

God orchestrated my journey, set doctors, nurses in place, gave me the gift of men too.

And though it seems she was rejected by her very own, God gave her many fathers and mothers in return who loved her like their very own.

And throughout her journey, she never lacked love.

She thrived through love.

Ideally everyone thinks she is gone and that means I should live my life but she is my life now and to me living simply means helping others.

I don’t know why but there is this deep desire within me to keep reaching out to mothers to accept and enjoy the journey.

Sounds weird right, how does someone enjoy the journey with disability?

But sincerely with all the rigours, stress, pains of disability these past  five years have given me so much joy and peace in God that I had never experienced before.

It’s not about what these kids can do, neither about if they die or not but the focus should be giving them a life of ease and independence as much as we can.

It’s about living with the situation and through the situation.

It’s about consciously looking for means, ideas and strategies to cope and make the journey easier and worthwhile.

I was helped by God all through my journey.

I have ridiculous testimonies of provision.

Most mothers are soooo overwhelmed with:

1. Rejection of the kids by the father or closed relatives.

2. Rejection from closed relatives is even secondary but the father is the first culprit.

Now with the in-built mechanism of men, they are more prone to rational thinking.

They consider the obvious facts on ground which includes;

A. This condition according to science, is a life-long condition.

B. This condition is financially demanding.

C. This condition disrupts family dynamics and exerts undue pressure.

D. The condition is filled with risks and uncertainties.

E. And they conclude within themselves “of what use is embarking on the journey?”

This and much more questions automatically puts a closure to any form of emotion for the child and thus makes it easier to neglect their fatherly roles to the mother.

The mother on the other hand is controlled by maternal love and instincts for the child. Her thoughts are constantly on how to get the child healed of the condition, she thus can’t imagine having to abandon the child.

It becomes a mental health war for the mother.

The father thus withdraws himself believing this will make the mother come back to her senses and give up on the child, but alas it is just the beginning of truama for the mother.

Modupe and Didunoluwa Hydrocephalus journey

The mother is torn in-between her love for her child and her duties as a wife. She is invariably asked to choose between the child and the husband.

This is the major reason most mothers live in denial and find it hard to accept their child’s condition.

And acceptance is the first step of transformation.

Modupe can be reached via:

Phone/WhatsApp: +234 (0) 806 408 7215

Instagram: @dupetheadvocate

Facebook: Modupe Janet Ajayi


1 thought on “Hydrocephalus: The first step on the journey of transformation”

  1. Acceptance indeed is the first step.
    It helps to heal ad a caregiver and in turn enable you to carry on without regret and dejected. I salute your courage my darling

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